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by Swann

Posted to Haiku Board on 2004-07-02 13:18:00

Parent message is 672631
A damn nice image, but I’d rethink your final line more. You use the definite article to note a highly specific head, but then the indefinite to portray a less specific rat. Why? Maybe cut down the bulkiness of the “of” construction in the line, and the problems will resolve themselves.