A whole bunch of poems
by Happas
Posted to Poetry on 2002-02-06 01:42:00
Pretentious and self satisfying i wrote these the day after consuming 400Morning GLory seeds – i was feeling mighty depressed
People
I laugh because you can’t see
I’m more of a man than any of you will ever be
Grow Up! You say
Get Real! You say
Pull Yourself Together!
You can’t do that in the real world!
You Preach
I laugh, because you don’t have my driving madness
Only a dire…. Haunted sadness
There is a place
1
There is a place where your dreams become
REALITY
REALITY
Shamanic drumming, earthy salty and confused
I can see all; except myself
In these choking fumes
Of cloud-like gloom
2
The place where the end meets with the beginning
Where all that is earthly
Is set aside and postulated
A place where only the spirits roam
Love, confusion…. the unknown
Slipping ever downward
Into a primordial mess
An ancient trance; Spirit penetrating
Through all time
Incommunicado with the dead
The door
The door to being was opened
Things from beyond the door shouted at me
Things that were dark and glorious
And I stood transfixed
PRIMITIVE
I now comprehend the primitive nature of man
Sickened by all that is un-natural
For the modern man who goes beyond the door
Will learn that he has become a hybrid
A creature over his thoughts
Because mind controls matter
And every idea is a flower
Wandering
1
Wondering down the moonlit drive
We sing and do what we have to
To survive
When we connect with this ancient source
The ego dissolves
Like a demon
It is exorcised
And your self is shattered
As you enter a delirious, liquid odyssey
2
In the morning the trouble of social realties
Rear their foul and disgusting head
Action delays being
Action obscures being
Action transcends being
My eyes are in the vortex
Utterly transfixed by the space time continuum
And the sheer veracity of those
Few fleeting moments of being
Will be forever etched
In memory
Haunting my waking hours
A poem for a girl
I can’t live without these ever-so gentle thoughts of you
For my mind traverses a different reality
A reality where you and me are happy
And nothing matters
Because we are together
In the magnificent haze of union
I can’t quite discern
Whether this is Love
Or obsession
A desire to feel content
A pulsating rhythm
I’ am utterly dependent on your love
You are the most important thing
You transcend
My universe
Your reality penetrates every fibre of my being
Every molecular structure inside of me
Yearns for you
Because your love
Is as necessary as the blood that flows through my veins.
You save me
Even though you are oblivious to it
You simply being on this earth
Helps me to cope
With the drudgery and the intoxication
Of my own existence
I love it that you feel sorry for me
I love it that you pity me
I love it that you think I’m special
And strange
The only reason I live, is because I’m sure you think of me
My love I’m in a fragile state
I’m honest to no one
Except occasionally myself
Please mask and disguise me
And I don’t care what guise I wear
As long as it is something other than
My cold, scared, dark, naked self
My Intellect
My intellect can be a boorish eater
Consuming delicate fine foods
In wrenching gluttony
It is dissected from what is real
But one can only understand reality
When one wanders away from it
Away to the palace of dreams
For a mind unaltered, is not a mind at all
But a mind paralysed with wonder
A mind that dances with truth
A mind that frees itself
From the paradigm of existence
Is a genuinely real mind?
They and I
How sad they are
To let their happiness
Define their existence
I do not belong there….
I can’t abode there…with them
Illusionary, fantastical
Worlds of books screen and dreams
These are my worlds of refuge
That is where I escape
And escaping is bliss
But sooner or later
You have to
FACE
The unimaginable horror of existence
Maybe then… you can enjoy it
Bothered
I’ am bothered
By heaven
And by hell
I shine like the brightest star
Falsely brilliant
Arrogance is buried deep in my genes
Arrogance and Cynicism
I will dispel thee
And I shall be healthy
For intellect must at times override emotion
If you want to achieve peaceful appreciation
Adoration
Control
Over the manifestation of the soul
But I fear this cannot be achieved
In the company of other sinners
DreamWorld
The dream world
The ultimate reality
The ultimate freedom
Freedom from cumbersome physicality
Freedom from the unholy ego
Twisting and contorting in truth
A dark glorious state
Communicating with the spirits
Transcending religion with science
A mind running
In a tumultuous frenzy
Only sleep bringing peace
Or so are memory tells us
But when we sleep we dream
We go into different worlds
Strange, alien…familiar yet
To think that death would bring oblivion
Is to be as ignorant as the pretty child
Observing the adult world
With hazy eyes
I know that I’ am OK
For I can see my madness
But you are not okay
Because your madness is an invisible
Yet very sharp dagger
That pokes and stabs
At your existence
A clinger
What is this!
This Apollo!
This Christian!
This morbid soul so nauseated by life that it prays in such a way!
Guilt!
Guilt is the sickness of a soul that is forever uncertain!
Shrouded by the ideas that could not emancipate it!
Too Weak!
Too weak and cowardly to pave its own way
To create its own ethos
A crab
A crab clinging desperately to a rock
Resisting the river of truth
Grandfather
Grandfather you old fool
Your mouth is salivating
It’s oozing out of that orifice
And dripping disgustedly to the floor
Your physically pathetic nature
Is merely emulating
Your abysmal mental state
I see occasionally
Your eyes get haunted
By the doubts of your plastic God
But your mind is to shut
To shut and to weak
Your haunted souls only respite lies deep in cynicism
Nastiness, mocking of a fragile
Oversensitive creature
Everyone
Always mocking what makes them uncertain
Oblivious to their own sad selves
Never understanding
Never bothering
To scratch the surface
And to revel
In the depths
Grandfather can’t you see I’ am scarred
But you are old and beautiful
In an ugly way
They are all beautiful