A whole bunch of poems

by Happas

Posted to Poetry on 2002-02-06 01:42:00

Pretentious and self satisfying i wrote these the day after consuming 400Morning GLory seeds – i was feeling mighty depressed



People

I laugh because you can’t see
I’m more of a man than any of you will ever be

Grow Up! You say
Get Real! You say

Pull Yourself Together!

You can’t do that in the real world!
You Preach

I laugh, because you don’t have my driving madness
Only a dire…. Haunted sadness

























There is a place

1

There is a place where your dreams become

REALITY
REALITY

Shamanic drumming, earthy salty and confused

I can see all; except myself
In these choking fumes
Of cloud-like gloom

2

The place where the end meets with the beginning
Where all that is earthly
Is set aside and postulated

A place where only the spirits roam
Love, confusion…. the unknown

Slipping ever downward

Into a primordial mess

An ancient trance; Spirit penetrating
Through all time
Incommunicado with the dead

The door

The door to being was opened

Things from beyond the door shouted at me
Things that were dark and glorious
And I stood transfixed

PRIMITIVE

I now comprehend the primitive nature of man
Sickened by all that is un-natural

For the modern man who goes beyond the door
Will learn that he has become a hybrid
A creature over his thoughts

Because mind controls matter
And every idea is a flower


Wandering

1

Wondering down the moonlit drive
We sing and do what we have to
To survive

When we connect with this ancient source
The ego dissolves
Like a demon
It is exorcised

And your self is shattered
As you enter a delirious, liquid odyssey

2

In the morning the trouble of social realties
Rear their foul and disgusting head

Action delays being
Action obscures being
Action transcends being

My eyes are in the vortex

Utterly transfixed by the space time continuum

And the sheer veracity of those
Few fleeting moments of being
Will be forever etched
In memory
Haunting my waking hours


A poem for a girl

I can’t live without these ever-so gentle thoughts of you
For my mind traverses a different reality
A reality where you and me are happy
And nothing matters
Because we are together

In the magnificent haze of union

I can’t quite discern
Whether this is Love
Or obsession
A desire to feel content
A pulsating rhythm

I’ am utterly dependent on your love
You are the most important thing
You transcend
My universe

Your reality penetrates every fibre of my being

Every molecular structure inside of me
Yearns for you

Because your love
Is as necessary as the blood that flows through my veins.

You save me
Even though you are oblivious to it

You simply being on this earth
Helps me to cope

With the drudgery and the intoxication
Of my own existence

I love it that you feel sorry for me
I love it that you pity me
I love it that you think I’m special
And strange

The only reason I live, is because I’m sure you think of me

My love I’m in a fragile state
I’m honest to no one
Except occasionally myself
Please mask and disguise me
And I don’t care what guise I wear
As long as it is something other than
My cold, scared, dark, naked self


My Intellect

My intellect can be a boorish eater
Consuming delicate fine foods
In wrenching gluttony

It is dissected from what is real
But one can only understand reality
When one wanders away from it

Away to the palace of dreams

For a mind unaltered, is not a mind at all

But a mind paralysed with wonder
A mind that dances with truth
A mind that frees itself
From the paradigm of existence
Is a genuinely real mind?


They and I

How sad they are
To let their happiness
Define their existence

I do not belong there….
I can’t abode there…with them

Illusionary, fantastical

Worlds of books screen and dreams
These are my worlds of refuge
That is where I escape
And escaping is bliss

But sooner or later

You have to

FACE

The unimaginable horror of existence

Maybe then… you can enjoy it



Bothered

I’ am bothered
By heaven
And by hell

I shine like the brightest star
Falsely brilliant

Arrogance is buried deep in my genes
Arrogance and Cynicism
I will dispel thee
And I shall be healthy

For intellect must at times override emotion
If you want to achieve peaceful appreciation

Adoration

Control
Over the manifestation of the soul

But I fear this cannot be achieved
In the company of other sinners


DreamWorld

The dream world
The ultimate reality
The ultimate freedom

Freedom from cumbersome physicality
Freedom from the unholy ego
Twisting and contorting in truth
A dark glorious state

Communicating with the spirits
Transcending religion with science

A mind running
In a tumultuous frenzy
Only sleep bringing peace

Or so are memory tells us

But when we sleep we dream

We go into different worlds
Strange, alien…familiar yet

To think that death would bring oblivion
Is to be as ignorant as the pretty child
Observing the adult world
With hazy eyes

I know that I’ am OK
For I can see my madness

But you are not okay

Because your madness is an invisible
Yet very sharp dagger
That pokes and stabs
At your existence




A clinger

What is this!
This Apollo!
This Christian!

This morbid soul so nauseated by life that it prays in such a way!

Guilt!
Guilt is the sickness of a soul that is forever uncertain!

Shrouded by the ideas that could not emancipate it!

Too Weak!

Too weak and cowardly to pave its own way
To create its own ethos
A crab
A crab clinging desperately to a rock
Resisting the river of truth




Grandfather

Grandfather you old fool
Your mouth is salivating
It’s oozing out of that orifice
And dripping disgustedly to the floor

Your physically pathetic nature
Is merely emulating
Your abysmal mental state

I see occasionally
Your eyes get haunted
By the doubts of your plastic God

But your mind is to shut
To shut and to weak

Your haunted souls only respite lies deep in cynicism

Nastiness, mocking of a fragile
Oversensitive creature

Everyone
Always mocking what makes them uncertain

Oblivious to their own sad selves

Never understanding
Never bothering
To scratch the surface
And to revel
In the depths

Grandfather can’t you see I’ am scarred

But you are old and beautiful

In an ugly way

They are all beautiful













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