how to explain?

by kairo

Posted to Poetry on 2001-09-03 18:11:00

i make a soft swirling wish
to know how to explain me to you
without giving it all away.
how to show you the time of
my blaze red digital clock heart
in the middle of a white out blizzard
when you might be blinded by fear.
how to get you to accept without squinting eye
that i prefer to eat grapes with my toes
on hardwood kitchen floor at midnight,
and i want you to watch.
i write lines of black and spill coffee on them as i leave
so you cannot read them over your granola
crunching into your morning as i’m already twenty minutes into my drive of the day.
i paint portraits of you in dark corners of the apartment
where i know you’ll never look
never see,
spiderwebbing across them tinsel, floss and tidbits you’ve left behind,
my ficticious glinting treasures.
when i drive the morning into a rising fury
i make love to you in my mind
with feathers, whips, light kisses, liquid beauty of what who where you are.
but i miss you more now
than i ever thought possible.
and i wish i were stronger.
i have journals of painted eyes with lashes of indian beauty
devoted to poetry hoping there would be a navy blue night of shooting stars wherein i would read words to you
until you touched me with want for my flesh,
for no other reason than words.
i’ve always wanted you to know
that when i began knowing you were this haunting voice ghosting into my dreams
i began gluing beautiful beads to my ceiling
so you’d have beauty to look at in all positions
once you were here,
if you were ever here.
i wonder if you’ll recover from this.
if you’ll remember me afterward.
if you’ll like nine hours of space and miles between us.
it feels like earth to moon now,
but i am filled with the guitar strumming of your voice
thinking i know how to explain me to you
without giving it all away,
a green eyed glance in person,
nano-seconds and hot breath between us,
i want you here
and i’m terrible for wanting nothing more.