Closure

by Baby2

Posted to Poetry on 2003-02-04 14:32:00

Parent message is 375153
i wrote the girl
who supposedly spread
all those rumors about me;
about him saying
i was only good
for anal sex.

of course
she disclaimed the
whole business

not her

only said
he told her
my friends didn’t like him
and were trying
to keep me away
from him

she said
“and it wasn’t right
for them to tell you
anything
without proof”


so where did
these rumors
begin?

she is the only connection
between him
and my roommate’s friends;
those two worlds

it doesn’t
make sense

this crap
is eating me up
i want to know
the truth
i want to know
who all surrounds me

funny part being
i would have believed
anything he told me

anything

but
he
didn’t

didn’t open his mouth
to say a damn thing

of all the times…

made his own self
look guilty
and sank
by his actions

why?

and if in questioning
i implied judgement
why not set me straight?

was it really
not worth
the effort?

to show
support
even

if he honestly cared


“I asked for something today, something good to remember,
a suture for the past so it’ll quit spilling into the future”

i had to ask
ask her
so i can finally
move on
stop feeling
sorry for myself
stand up

“Don’t know what or why I’m writing,
but the lump in my chest is back,
and my fingers cant stop moving,
another emotional heart attack”

the letter formed itself
right in front of me
it would have been so easy
to press delete
it was so hard
to hit send

when is this
going to stop
haunting me??!!

it’s impossible
to accept
to understand

WHY??!!

i thought we had
something


“without blame, no need to speak,
a little closure, regain composure over the beauty we shared,
forgetting is easy when you hate something, and I tried my best to do that,
but it’s not fair”

we sat down
to build castles
in the sand
until he decided
to stomp on them.
but i wasn’t through
playing;
admiring them

and yet…
how could i get pist
when he help
build them too?

it hurts

i don’t want
to blame
judge
harbor

i just want
to know
the truth

how the hell
do i swim
to the top
with a two ton
rumor weight
strapped to my feet?

i’m
drowning
here!

…people??

(they’re busy
poking holes
at my life vest)



Closure:

is this
too much
to hope for?


_________________________________________________

*loved your poem. those lines i used. but it sure did open up a can of worms

I can’t wait to go to Italy, i swear!


🙂

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