Wishing I Could Sleep Soundly (Please critique)
by ModernAncient
Posted to Stories on 2002-03-10 13:28:00
Incredible… I’ve known this girl since early innocent grade school and now I’m watching her, stoned, drunk, ripped in every direction and she’s drunk too and clothes are being removed. I can’t deal with this. Kelly used to be the cool tomboy girl who was better at sports than most fifth grade boys… look at her now. She’s still beautiful but it seems that all that just went down the tube.
She’s had a lot to drink tonight, and now she’s writhing around, flashing her chest and dry humping ‘Powers in the corner. In theory, I should be enjoying this and totally getting off on it like the rest of the animals, hooting and howling like wolfs every time they see some tit. God it’s fucked up. I’m now overwhelmed by the dirtiness and depravity going on here, but I’m too stoned and drunk to move. So I grab the closest pillow and sink to my ass in the corner, half sobbing into the pillow and covering my eyes… a force field, protecting me from all this grown up badness. And why the hell is Kelly doing this anyway? She used to be such a nice girl.
The real fucking pisser though is that her boyfriend, yes… boyfriend, Casey was at the party earlier. Poor kid. Casey is the kind of guy that so many girls dream of going out with, and look at this, Kelly just pissing it all away. He’s such a nice guy, and Kelly is basically nice too. FUCK, just an hour before this girl took her shirt off and started humping various people and things the two of them were fawning over each other alone in the dim living room away from the complications and weirdness of the party. They looked so sweet in there, on their knees and staring into each other’s eyes whispering little lovable things back and forth. That was pure and good, I liked that.
And now ‘Powers is fending off this girl, grabbing at his crotch and trying to kiss him. Casey left before all the sexual madness started, but I’m sure he’ll hear about it. She’s on the floor, wiggling around and mumbling with a zip-up sweater and no undershirt or bra, opening up for everyone to see and then everyone hoots, including Kelly. And then there’s me, -fetal position in the corner, half sobbing into the pillow, half peeking over to see her even though every time I do see her I feel dirty and wrong, just like the rest of them should.
Weird guilty vibrations floating around in this filthy booze stinking haze on this early March night. And now Kelly isn’t the only one shedding clothes. There are other girls taking shirts off and stuff, but we never saw the whole shi-bang like we did for Kelly, just short term teases. Although I did feel just as guilty and pulled apart with each of them.
By now it’s getting shameful. The guilt that was floating around in the beer-stink air has finally settled in and shame is painted all over us, even the guys who were howling for nudity half an hour earlier. We’re trying to get this girl to put some clothes on without touching her skin. It’s like she’s covered in something bad, and we’re trying to make as little contact as possible, and trying to cover it all up. Eventually, some other girls get her to put clothes but she’s still fighting, even though no one wants to see.
In the end she left with a shirt and bra on, although I don’t know how anybody got her to keep them on. After she left it was like, what’s the point of staying here, or staying awake? So everyone either left the place or crashed in various couches, beds or just random comfy carpets. And then that night was over, -now a thing of rumors and stories. But for me, I just wanted to go to sleep so I could have a nice dream. Maybe about a little girl on a swing set in some country setting; or two young boys fishing at the local watering hole; or a group of kids playing capture the flag with the sun going down and nervous mothers shouting to their kids to be home before dark; or two young boyfriend and girlfriend sitting on a park bench holding hands and watching the ducks swim by or something. Yeah, that’d be nice. A lot nicer than whatever I saw or wished I hadn’t seen that night so full of beer and weed. Just lying there in my nice down sleeping bag that I carry everywhere. Wishing I could sleep soundly.
