the fall of wondrous mystic
by learned
Posted to Stories on 2002-09-25 05:23:00
Parent message is 290461
this is the tale of jeff, one time sorceror to the table of nymphos, the pointy hat he wore with pride and the plaster cast mould of an impressive fallace he griningly displayed on the clubhouse mantle-piece next to the portrait photograph he had taken of him on the nympho-camera night (every third thursday at 8pm).
it was on an otherwise uneventful night at the nympho camera club where jeff, aged 22 and at the height of his magical powers was struck stiff by the sight of 19 year old isabella and her 36 D breasts swaying nakedly in the door supported by pouty lips, dark olive skin and an almost au-natural bush decorated with a sprinkling of shimmering glitter. this was love! and he was heard to sing to himself;
“isabella, oh isabella
you have the face of a dominatrix
and the tits of a slut
i mean that not in a misogynist way
of course
just that i’m gagging to make you my sweet spunk bag”
unfortunately jeff was one extremely ugly mother fucker and isabella was in no way impressed with his penis. but have no fear, jeff being the sorceror of the hour resolved to put the fair maiden under his spell. he was aware that such pointless and wankish spells are cursed by the powers that be, but jeff’s erection was taking no heed and would not rest until it had taken some head.
the spell was a roaring success the pair were married and the fellatio was free flowing. unfortunatly for some reason jeff decided that blow jobs were a more productive way of spending his days than practicing his sorcery. his talent wained and he was a burn-out. this was only part one of the curse that befell him. part two, the killer…the mad cow disease…now isabella had always been somewhat strange…the words that came out of her mouth over the years had been getting increasingly bizarre. jeff had always put this down to lack of speech practice due to the rampant fellatio, and jeff felt no desire to point this out. little did jeff know, this was a proggressive disease. one morning 4 am jeff woke up cascading to the floor. disorientated he stood up, looked over to isabella and then shat himself profusely. isabella…had turned…into…a highland fucking cow!!!!
to jeff’s credit he struggled on with the marriage despite the mad cow and the debilitating 10 grams of toasted marshmallows a day habit he developed in order to have the guts to perform sexually for isabella. things were looking up when jeff started pimping out isabella to local farmers and their bulls, jeff even found a voyeristic thrill enter into it. but one day, a bull by the name of “the horn” stole isabella away for good, leaving jeff nothing but comfort in the embrace of bubble wrap, the only item isabella left him in the divorce.
jeff now approaching 40 years old had started to feel better about the world and about life now that the beautiful bubble wrap had soothed his pain, and jeff decided to get back to the magic. alas a hallucination jeff encountered whilst whacked out of his gord on his toasted marshmallows, told him what the future held…the future held part three of the dreaded curse. jeff’s destiny was thus, he would return to a high-level of magical prowess before a painfull and hillariously embarrasing death. during a heavy love-making session with bubble wrap, jeff’s penis would spontaniously combust. jeffs last moments would be filled with the agonising “POP!!! AAARRGGHHH POP!!” of the dying bubble wrap, leaving the police to find jeff lying in the middle of the floor with an impressive ash pile between his legs and no trace of having lived or loved, just tinfoil with residue of marshmallow and tears in his eyes.
but when jeff sobered up he didn’t really give a fuck and went to wake up bubble wrap for a shag and to snort some TM off her hundreds of nipples
the gaddamn end