sarah…
by jamelah
Posted to Stories on 2002-10-17 06:37:00
Parent message is 305052
i liked this. i’m not very good at offering helpful suggestions, but i’d perhaps like to see minnie’s space described a little bit more at the beginning. maybe show a little bit more (like a paragraph or so) of her alone, talking to her bird. i think it might help draw a clearer line between what her world is when her husband is gone, and what it is when he’s home.
overall, though, i think this piece is very well done. good work.