YOWZERS! That one

by zygotenmycoffee

Posted to Stories on 2002-11-09 12:26:00

Parent message is 320444
really hit hard & fast…kinda’ like a head snapping jab from Smokin’ Joe Frazier…yet despite the somewhat morbid/gortesque nature of the piece , there is deifintely something hauntingly poetic about the way you describe the girls eyes:

“The eyes of the girl fished out of the river were a deep, unnatural blue speckled with brilliant green dots, I mean, they really were mesmerising. Like jewels in the snow.”

I really like that… especially the “Like jewels in the snow” sentence…this glaring white-washed image of the snow provides an interesting contrast to the vivid color of the girl’s eyes…almost to the point of abstarction, as if for a fleeting second all the reader see’s are a pair of dead eyes staring out at them from a blanket of white…eerie yet effective; it’s the kind of image that burns into the conscience & settles there, following you, haunting you…

Nice piece of Flash Fiction, Shyster…it’s been a while since I’ve had the privelage to read your work…nice to see ya back!