More from Vlad,

by Rickety

Posted to Stories on 2003-05-21 21:22:00

Parent message is 453357
Er, mojave, er zenobia, er zygotenmycoffee etc etc etc.

Where to start? I think it started nicely, a good fictional, day to day look into the life of a parish priest, with his daily selection of prayers and what not.

But like you commented yourself, very heavy on theological references, which quickly jumps into a sterotypical entrance of a black male. To be honest, I don’t think I’ve ever met a black man named Tyrone. In print, yes, but never in real life. But I digress.

Theology to crude internet wank material? From the Bible to so-called forbidden interracial mixing? What’s the point of all this?

There isn’t any, I don’t believe. It would be a fine piece of Bible or Church related self-destructive prose, but the Father was all Bible, no outwards signs of any burning itch to blow to pieces. Instead, it seems the author self-destructed instead, and took his writing along with him.

You spoke that a writer needs cajones to walk the path. But where are they at when you need a clear head, or at least zingy prose, to illustrate a priest’s downward fall?

Also a quick note on multiple identities: Let them build up for a while, post a poem or two, a couple stories before you begin the oh-so familiar attack on Beats. You did better this time, with zenobia. Good grammar, very polite, however poorly disguised your condensation was. You’re too wired for the fight, my friend, too eager for fisticuffs.

Use more characters with your same bent on life. But let them self-destruct, don’t let yourself go to pieces as well. Keep your cool, son. Otherwise, all you’ll end up is with shambles.