the rich man
by Jo Jo
Posted to Stories on 2003-07-28 07:26:00
In my dreams I see my faults. The purple grey beauty, she loves me in my dreams. When I wake up and go to work, on the subway. playing the game of is she looking at me, when she could be looking in to space, Like we all try to front.
In the office. I have timed my way in so that I run in to no one, I don’t like talking to people I don’t know. Today is different, I run in to agirl on the elevator:
-hello-I SAY, so I do not seem rude, which is a rude thought:
-hi-she said and then it was silence to the top floor.
In to the office, I turn on lamp and start to work, what ever that is. I sit and watch the running of the office passed the glass, the blinds open a single centimetre sliver.
Lunch, at the same dinner as always. I was glad to see no one on the way down, people are so entertaining. The simple looking waitress chews her gum and is indifferent to all the faces, she is too caught up in her thoughts:life is going on in each and ever second, way, place and instance, galaxies, blood cell, dimensions, and beyond the grasp of human imagination, witch some how is. I have a club sandwich and a cup of coffee’, I have that each and every days. For years, about 5 I have been coming here.
I drive back to the office, after getting my car that was being cleaned. The blur of the cars, indifference to it, the nasty lie that is all alright. I see the people on each level of existence, social status or class. It means nothing to me.
The rest of the day trails the same none adventuristic path,
blank bland people, generic art and lives and music, the business bull. The lying rhetoric of the bored and rich, poor and in-between. Life went on, I had no dreams that night.
(*)
Waking alone in the big house, my deck shading protects me from early morning rays. Lights from bulbs are so much more, well nice I guess. get in the car and some how it has gotten dirty, I had it cleaned just. Blurring of days.
My screen saver is black, It is nothing. The first day I got it I thought that would be most clever thing. People with the funny Quotes to show their personality, I thought it would show them, come to think of it. It is the same thing, by showing nothing, I am showing everything..
Ar lunch, same waitress. You can tell she is tired, she has dark circles under her eyes. n this state she seems warmer, and asks me if I am having the regular. It was the first time she had noticed me. I had a second cup of coffee’.
The girl was in the elevator again:
-hello-I say-nice day:
_it is raining-I had not noticed that, was it, I thought:
-what was your name?
-I am on pay roll.
-I know.
-mmm-she seemed to ticked off, their was no reason. She must not be interested in me. I have the tendency to come of creepy. It was silent the rest of the day.
(*)
In my old days i had a couple friends, the “gang” we were! Drinking mainly, what ever really. Drugs and fun. They come visit me in my dreams, they are gone.
I look in my dresser drawer, there is a picture of a man holding a gun. I don’t know who drew it. It looks like a kid scribble, on the other side there is a mommo about sothing. I find this picture of the girl, I seen her in a dream. I have a recollection of a crisp cool night in fall, kissing this beautiful girl. I almost fall down with nostalgic lust, Red hair green blue eyes grey days, in love.
Lunch was good. The girl from the elevator was there. She sat on the other side of the dinner, she was with a friend. I said hi and she said it back, but like some one not trying to be rude. She thinks I am weird, and she does not want weird friends.
I take a walk, and give an old vagrant some change-thank you sir, kind sir-he says for a moment then it was back to-can you spare some change I can hear the jingle jangle.
(*)
I walked in to a book store today, I looked around. I saw a lot of good books, I had already read. I did not see anything new worth reading, let alone buying. I had gone in to use the washroom, in the wash room in the stall was written-Nothing is something, nothing is a word-I laughed at this idiotism.
Walking down the steps(from the wash room) I noticed the their was a coffee’ shop. They have coffee’ shops in book shops? So I buy a 5 dollar coffee’and sat down with the paper. Something was going on in the world, talk of a funny thing called peace? I read the entertainment section, and found a movie I was interested in.
Movies are not what they used to be, or I am not what I used to be. Sunday, what a slow day. Dreams, none, some thoughts, but none that are worth repeating. I walk up to my attic, I find a dusty chest. I find a black and white photo of a family, they look like hicks. Some hick has been in my attic, I find this strange.
In my bed room I go to sleep, or try. What puts you to bed, when their is nothing to dream of. Indifference….
(*)
The girl was in the elevator, I let the door close before I got in. I did not want to talk to her, I did not want to think of her any more, I learned the less I think about things, the less complicated.
I work through lunch. I clean up things that have to do with work that I am in. I got out of the office late. Walking throughout the dead corridors, I see some one. It is a naked man running through the halls, I ignore this.
I eat supper at the same dinner, the girl is not working. Probably with he boyfriend, she must have an amazing, and beautiful life, as most people do. The club sandwich was great.
I walk home,it is a long walk. I go through to rough area, and see characters that I am certant have guns under their coats. I stop at a store, the clerk sell me some jack Daniels. I get home and go to sleep, and did not have a drink.
(*)
I brought a radio to work, I blasted the ranting holy bible thumpers of Texas. Laughing as I worked away, drinking whiskey. People walked by disturbed by the holy message.
Buy lunch the whiskey had me thinking of the elevator girl, so holding the bottle I walked down the hall way. I got to the elevator. Their she was:
-come to lunch with me baby, your the most beautiful looking girl in the woorlsanm……….
-No, why would I. Why would I walk off with you, your drunk get away- I tried to hug her, not really comprehending what she had said, I would under stand, they would tell me. I was driven home by a concerned college, not the girl.
(*)
Purple, was the dream, beautiful, and she wanted me. Romantic lines rootled off my thing. I felt her she was mine.Grey eyes and fall weather, the smell of days of wonder and love.
I wake up to a head hurt head and there is an uneasy feeling. it does not matter, indifference, death to feeling, the die. I eat alone in my big house, bacon and eggs. I drive to work, and lucky for me I see no one.
My life is a dream, or that’s what I believe. See the grey people, purple grey, people rolling by, indifference. Under the picture of the man with a gun is a gun, BANG!!!!!!!!!
(*)