SONGS FOR MIDNIGHT (please critique)it’d be greatly appreciated

by CHILDS74

Posted to Stories on 2004-06-28 23:54:00

This is part of a novella that I originally wrote about a year ago. I pulled it out again in the hopes that I could edit it, and complete it. I sent it to a couple publishers, and they sent back the reply “Not exactly what we’re looking for- blah, blah, blah.” Hope you can help me… sorry about the way it’s formatted.

1.)
Mysterioso Confusist Erotica –
Tonight I recalled a vision of you standing naked after an afternoon shower. It was the most beautiful thought I had all day. I worship you as you dance – I surrender to your rhythm. It makes me pulsate with pleasure. Vibrate! There’s more to life than this, but when it happens there’s nothing but that bliss. It takes a hold of you, and transports your sorrow – It takes you to a place only IT can take you. Only YOU can take ME…
Right now I have to get beneath the meaning. The means of Euphoria… (Sunshine *) Ahhh, good day – Simple on a Sunday. Give me love (thank you). Are you ready to take the trip? The last kiss will be so long. It won’t be over ‘til you say when. We’ll drift to another place where Nothing is everything…is Nothing. (The sooner you realize it, the better, but I can’t. I’m stuck on this dream-like, material Earth.) Thank you for blinding me. I’m enjoying the darkness…Crawling my way through this BIG, AMERICA WORLD.
Understand what it means. A means to FLY. Higher and longer than you ever imagined. Learn it – Live it – Know it – SEE IT! Love it or not, this is it… Stretch yourself out. Stay strong for us.
We’re shrouded in crimson mystery. Take something old / new. Let’s break through the gloom, and sing songs for Midnight.
I’ll drown in the vast ocean. Let the water embrace me, and all my fears. I’ll see past loves, past lives swirling around me, as I surrender to the shimmering womb – Go back to where I belong. No fear can control me. I maintain the sane, and start it over again. Under the water I will dwell. Right now I can’t seem to get the time for all the history that isn’t mine.
I’m listening to the pretty machine inside my head. I want to feel real in this soul debris – My warm little cocoon – My Jazzy Sanctuary, with the cool Beat Buddha. Don’t try to change my mind, I’m goin’ away… Watch me glow! (Gotta turn “the Duke” over…)
Liquid blue moon –
May it drench me slowly, magnify my mind. As long as I can think it, it’s real. It’s immaterial, but it exists. The great divide is true. Lazy…days…ahead…from the top of the head comes one long, continuous thought…(Break-time) I’ll just sip my coffee, and be quiet.
Sitting back watching the kittens frisking on the floor. I’ve always been a ‘cat person’. They’re so peaceful yet playful. A friend of mine once said that cats are like ‘little Buddha’s’… enlightened, in tune with the harmony of the universe. I would’ve loved to have been a cat… but things aren’t so simple now. My life is full of human complication.
I can still smell it – LUST. The ultimate in unsurpassed beauty. A blood-red peace giving moment. It reminds me of a long, saxophone hot summer night. Sensual. Sultry. (I’m singing the blues.) Are you just a mirage in this vast nothing? Is it real? If my words could be wordless, then they may do you justice. Sometimes the keys of life play solemn tunes… Slightly off-key, behind the beat. Simply – Passionately. The rhythm takes me to and fro, and now I’m flying solo. Let me lay in the heat again… It’s hard to escape, so I’ll give in.
The mountains are blue in this part of the country. You can’t see them while bustling through the busy, selfish city. All the people are so stuck in their ways. Yakking on cell-phones – No time to stop, and listen in wonder. I’ll see you around Midnight…don’t mind the silence leaving traces of its noise behind – Make the night talk to you. Listen carefully. Open your ears wide. It talks like broken language. (Sometime- Alone- I’ll go mad with words, like a fire, trying to burn my words to ash)
The night-music hangs onto a dream, but Nothing plays – Nothing obeys. Senseless Wanderlust Bliss it gives me. When the morning bell rings, dread the rain. It’s the Sun that tells us everything’s all right. It says the cool noon will be upon us soon, and that life is a recurring dream that changes slightly everyday. It only ceases when you sleep. (Wake up, and dream.) We compromise by getting out of bed. Sleep is just a lucky break. (Zzzzzzzzz…) At night the stars drip down, like the fantasies of people dreaming into the atmosphere. It’s so wide open that the air stirs at the touch of the falling
Images within that soar away…
They fly with wings of delusion – A thought severed from a single person can change the moods of many. A subtle wind can rearrange time, until the breeze feels that change is irrelevant. The night will reveal the bedlam truth. No masks, no words, but the clutter of silence ringing in our ears.
I love the silence, but question everything. That which is separate may not be part of the whole. (I know what it’s like when sensuality struggles with compromise.) Love opens the door, and then tries to close it on you. Troubled Old Love – It fills you with fire, but doesn’t put itself out.
Then you’re back to Lust. The smell and the taste intoxicate you. To some it’s “Therapy”. When you have nothing else, you have Lust. (Time to wake up.) Wrap your arms around it, and squeeze the nothing out of Nothing. Take it on, and pull it off. Love Nothing and like it.
The “Little Death” of sex can go a long way, but you can get that bliss (or something like it) on your own. Hear the steel mad wind of night. Lie in silent repose. Heav-en-ly peace at last on quiet earth. Dream if you will – No seething sorrow. It’s ceaseless, and never stops. (?) I haven’t regretted a thing from the start. We fall apart, and are put back together by the truth. It’s obvious if you know where to look.
We all have what we all need, but it always seems there’s something missing. A piece? We all live for the quest. The whole point is that you’ll never find the point. Don’t let it bring you down. We have some time. Existence is free of bounds.
We need ecstasy to exist, but it’s always at odds with love. It should be obtainable without someone else’s love, but there’s nothing wrong with preferring someone else’s ecstasy…(Love hides in the strangest places.) The telephone lines of the mind connect kinetic realizations across the nation. Bits of pain, joy, and confusion are fed into the same eternal computer forever. We’re halfway there… (Strange place to start a revelation.)
I need to begin again, but I don’t know when, don’t know how. It will never transcend when people are cloning dreams, and it all seems like a means to an end.

(thank you – there will be more)



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