RESPECT to jotadavida –> I have one…
by Proteus
Posted to Utterances on 2001-08-15 19:40:00
Parent message is 1502
Hey jota baby that’s a wicked story man.
Reminds me of a time way back when I ended up sharing a pad at college with my two best buddies I had known since first grade. Man, we had a wild time that year, we fucked, got fucked, floozed, shmoozed and bamboozeled every night, I’ve only just paid off those wonderful years.
Anyway, the story is, my buddy X had a little siss who thought we were all awesome cool cats, she kept asking to come and stay with us for a weekend, get a little taste of the scene we were into. X was the most possessives brother I had ever known- I mean unbelievable, he acted like it was his daughter for Christ sake (Nabokov like I thought, I have always wondered, hmmm).
I hadn’t seen her for a while, in fact since New Year when good old buddy Y ended up dating her couple of times to the absolute disgust of X. The thing is back then she must have been 160lb and the rest, Y must have liked her, but with X and the rest of the gang ripping him up the whole thing was an ill-fated shambles in the end.
The scene is set. X eventually buckles under the increasing pressure from the girl and we set a date. BO! (with reverb I thought). Before she arrives good old X, gives us the game plan- ‘now listen fellas, NO FUNNY BUISNESS – especially you Y, you FUCK!’
OH… MY… GOD! She walks into the pad and you can hear the thud, pause thud, as myself and Y’s jaw’s leave protective orbit and hit the ground. ‘What’s that?’ say’s X, ‘Err nothing’ say’s I as we both collect ourselves and try to cover the inevitable dribble. She’s only gone and lost the 60 and the rest, baby she’s HOT, HOT, HOT! You could fry eggs or her ass it was SO hot. Turns out she’s become obsessed with fitness and eating joined a gym, crazy kid.
We go out to a club we dance, we drink, we get talking (I start thinking), and then she hits me with ‘P, you know I’ve always liked you, you never used to look at me before like this’, ‘she’s got a point’ I thought.
We get back to the place and a good night has been had by all. WHAM! She leads me straight to my bedroom and to my surprise all her gear is already in there. WHAT? As the door closes I turn round, the last thing I see before the door closes is X’s red hair merges to the same color as face and all I can make out is his piercing eyes, click the door closes. I’ll spare you all the exact details of the following events, all I can say is, as ever I was great and she wasn’t bad either.
The next day I feel like I’ve been caught robbing a bank and those blue dye bags they have exploded all over my pants as I fled with the booty – all around the crotch area. She eventually told me she had planned the whole thing in advance. The next two weeks were a living hell, X would not speak and we ended up one day with pistols at dawn, very messy! We eventually dated for a couple of month on and off and I’m sure to this day she only wanted to prove a point that she could get any man she wanted and fuck everyone else. Now we can laugh about it and when X and I are getting stoned sometimes I’ll say, ‘hey remember the time I fucked your sister – I bet she told you I was good, didn’t she, come on spill the beans buddy’, we laugh again.
CONCLUSION: DON’T DO SISTERS, MOTHERS, PETS, FATHERS, BROTHERS AND BE CAREFULL WITH FRIENDS.
I’m settled now and happy as a pig in shit, but I heard that she has asked as to my whereabouts and is a bit pissed she missed out and that I have, well, ‘made good’ in the end.
This leads me on to our brother Josh. My advice to you my man is to forget the girl (be nice though, keep it cool), and I can guarantee it won’t last. A few years down the line, you and your buddy (if he’s a real buddy that is) will be sat tossing beers down laughing about the whole thing, comparing notes, charts, positions et cetera.
Proteus…
