too soon to meet me- a piece i wrote 4 days after 911
by doreen peri
Posted to Utterances on 2002-04-28 21:23:00
i see a clean sheet white like satin
waiting for words to make sense of it all
but oh, how i remember september
creeping in on silent stilts,
the threat of summer going much to quick,
leaves turned up for coming rain,
faces innocent on the downside
turned upward toward the sky,
not knowing then the photograph
of a moment would develop
into a graphic
question mark
of why
the day was still
easy
lustfully pure
no humidity
so quiet
so quiet
so sure
streams of white in flight like purity
cotton strewn with heaven
on an azure sky, watching planes fly
soaring with wings
on the calm of it!
ah, the peace —
ahhhh, the peace!
so surreal the beauty
of the then with sun
so high, so settled right
into the sky….
warmed us
within!
ahhhhh the peace!
oh the never wonder why until
the HIT! eyes saying what? what?
what? what floor? where?
what’s happened? is this a what?
do WHAT? where? when? why?
oh god oh god oh god!!!
no no no no no non no no NO!!!!
someone’s hurt?
BAMBLASTBOOM!!!!!
to the tune of doom
and i can’t find my voice
i can’t write my way clear
there’s stampedes in the hallways
let’s get out of here!
glass is flying !!!!!
hurry hurry! towers
toppled by blame!
and the truth’s been kidnapped
by an aliased name and
the windows are crashing in and i think
i’ve gone insane, hell oh hell oh hell oh
hello???
hello???
oh and i can’t
find my voice
i can’t find my voice
and so i scream
i’m here i’m here i’m here
i’m crunched under
dust burned by
fire never to be quenched
inferno inferno inferno
i’m here i’m here
and i can’t breathe please
please please please
breathe me breathe me
inhale me quick,
find me pick
me up hold me
save me from
the reek and havoc
my right leg’s caught
under a desk
my left arms sliced
from wrist to neck
and the blood i drink
is my own
dripping down
into the corners
my spirit
there’s a hole
in it
the side
of the candle lit
wax pouring
out like a
waterfall
without
and i see a clean sheet
white like satin
words like blood
letting
spread
dead
over
my
face
and now
i feel the
draft come in
i feel the draft
come in, my son
too soon to meet me here.
9.15.2001