New Years Eve

by Baby2

Posted to Utterances on 2002-12-13 08:41:00

Parent message is 339527
I was around 12. I always hated New Years. My parents had all these adult conversations about the end of the world that I always happened to catch. “the year 2000” was the due date and every New Years got us closer to that day.

That year, there was a Twighlight Zone marathon going on. I was watching that at the same time I was reading Childhood’s End by Arthur C. Clarke (how ironic, i had forgotten this!) Anyway, I loved science fiction at the time. I was doing all this to distract myself from my paranoic thoughts. (Has anyone read this book? Yeah, i wasn’t helping myself at all. Much less watching Twilight Zone.)

Out of the blue I began to think of something. I don’t know if I read something in Childhood that triggered it or what, but I started wondering how it was that guys touched themselves. why? the guys in school always talked about it. what did it all mean?

And of course I’m super curious. I was in the room. Everyone else in my family was in the other room watching New Year’s shows or napping to be up for midnight. I was alone, in a semi-dark room (i hate bright light) in a top bunk.

So I did it. I touched myself.

At first I didn’t feel anything. I knew the guys did more than just touch it. I had heard about doing circles. The guys in my school were very graphic. Well, i was in 7th grade. Some of them were in 9th. During P.E. they always said something. most of the time they pissed me off; they were so nasty. How I remember the circle thing, I don’t know.

I did it. tried it. It worked!! I felt something at least. I didn’t know what the hell, but it was something. And I liked it. i didn’t know what it was called. masturbation, orgasm: those words didn’t exist in my vocabulary yet. but I did know I was going to have to try it again.

ha! ha! how silly!!

it completely took my mind off New Years and all my doomsday fears.





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