Gibson’s great inspriational film has inspired me.

by elecartist2

Posted to Utterances on 2004-02-27 14:58:00


I am greatly inspired with the amount of money Mel Gibson is making on his PASSION
Film. Since I can use some extra money I am preparing a screenplay based on the gospels. Here I am pitching my script to a producer.

“Harvey, snort another line, here. use this $1000 bill….ok…. Jesus comes back to earth, only this time he lands in Berlin and it’s 1942. It’s Friday night and the sun is going down and since he’s a Rabbi, he’s frantically looking for a synagogue so he can celebrate the Sabbath. He spots a guy with a uniform and a steel helmet, figures he’s a Roman soldier and asks him in Latin for directions. The soldier who is really an SS officer doesn’t understand Latin, Jesus tries Aramaic and Hebrew without success, so he switches to Greek. Luckily or not luckily the SS man is an ex-paratrooper and picked up some Greek during the invasion of Crete.

‘What? a synagogue?’ he yells ‘Are you a fucking Jew?’ and starts beating him with his club ‘ Where is the yellow star you are obligated to wear? Where have you been hiding? Are you a faggot too? Why are you wearing a dress? And that long hair? You some bohemian faggot Jew artist?’
He hauls Jesus to Gestapo headquarters where he is tortured, maybe we can get some cutting floor clips that were too bloody for Gibson. Goring and Himmler are there on an inspection tour. Goring wants Jesus to go to a Dachau work camp and wear a pink triangle sewed on his striped uniform because he’s a homosexual. Himmler insists that he get a yellow star and goes to Auswitz to be gassed because he’s a Jew. They have a fistfight…Hitler walks in and breaks up the fight and decides that Jesus be eliminated in Belsen-Belsen concentration camp because he is obviously mentally impaired. As a concession he orders that Jesus must wear the Star and the pink Triangle. He also signs an order allowing medical experiments to be made on him.
Now Harvey, snort another line and grab this…. They squeeze him into a boxcar where he meets Mary Magdalene, I think we can get Lisa for this part, she was sensational in CABARET and he puts together a prayer group…get it ..the disciples. Then we take him through the whole concentration camp experience, beatings, shootings, slave labor, starving. whipping, dogs…. the whole works. Gore? Blood? Beatings? We’ll outdo Mel a thousand times…all I need is a happy ending…what do you think Harvey?”



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