THE PLUMED SERPENT

by novalark

Posted to Utterances on 2001-12-26 21:43:00



I saw them go—don Juan and his group, a whole flock of sorcerers. They went to a place free from humanness and the compulsive worshipping of man. They burned from within. They made a movement as they went, they call it the “plumed serpent.” They became energy; even their shoes. They made one last turn, one pass, to see this exquisite world for the last time. Ooh-woo-woo! I get chills—I shake. One last turn . . . for my eyes only.

I could have gone with him. When don Juan left he said, “It takes all my guts to go. I need all my courage, all my hope—no expectations. To stay behind, you will need all your hope and all your courage.” I took a beautiful jump into the abyss and woke up in my office, near Tiny Naylor’s. I interrupted the flow of psychological continuity: Whatever woke up in that office could not be the “me” that I knew linearly. That’s why I’m the nagual.

The nagual is a nonentity—not a person. In place of the ego is something else, something very old. Something observant, detached— and infinitely less committed to the Self. A man with an ego is driven by psychological desires. The nagual has none. He receives orders from some ineffable source that cannot be discussed. That’s the final understanding: The nagual, in the end, becomes a tale, a story. He cannot be offended, jealous, possessive—he can’t be anything. But he can tell tales of jealousy and passion.

The only thing the nagual fears is “ontological sadness.” Not nostalgia for the good old days—that’s egomania. Ontological sadness is something different. There’s a perennial force that exists in the universe, like gravity, and the nagual feels it. It’s not a psychological state. It is a confluence of forces that unite to clobber this poor microbe who has vanquished his ego. It is felt when there are no longer any attachments. You see it coming, then you feel it on top of you.

-Carlos Castaneda


The Literary Kicks message boards were active from 2001 to 2004.