Litkicks Message Board Archive

Hmmm

Posted to Poetry




Sylph, although an inspirational poem, it reads like a hallmark card. it is not original. i have said this before on litkicks; the only thing that matters is you-ness. i don't feel like i've learned anything about YOU at all, except that you value dreams. but so does everyone, right? here, is something i will compose in a similar vein to what you have written, off the top of my head;

when you get to a place on the mountain
where the going is rough
keep trying
because the sun will show you
a place to get a grip
so keep trying.


alright? you haven't learned anything about me from this. you might see it on a poster somewhere, with a mountain climber hanging on...
now, your poem is better than this, but do you see what i am saying?
i have written this is to give you an honest critique, even if you do not agree with me, please respect my honesty.
paul