Litkicks Message Board Archive

A melted rubber heart (please critique)

Posted to Poetry

My rubber heart has been melted and molded into shape,
Taken from its once peaceful position, and mutated into its now contorted design.
You took it from me and held it tightly, squeezing my pain and pleasure,
Rubbing the ailing pain, letting me breath and love again.
But in an instant my time and love was buried deep,
Left shaking and reaching a lonely arm out to hold, to be with you.
You left me! Let me struggle through it alone
The time I needed you, you were gone,
Off on your own, leaving me searching for answers
Distant in an open dessert, without water, left gasping for breath, searching for hydration.

I remember your silky blonde hair.
That smooth caressing touch.
You let me in, I chose to search you, feel you, be you
But at the peak, our climax, you pulled away, left me stranded and weak.
Left begging at the weakest level, the most lost and fallen posture.
So vulnerable, so demeaning.
I was an open wound in a pool of chlorine, I burned and cried away the pain.
My cut turned red with pain, and only bleed more, leaking my hope away.
The cut has yet to dry and heal and is still burning with hatred.
Still leaking a lake of lost hopes, torn ambitions.

I see you in the distance and I can feel your touch,
Almost pull you in, feel your warm body against mine.
I smell your sweet scent, it lured me in, trapped me in the web of deceit.
Cut me and tortured me, left me hanging by a thin line.
Holding on by a weak tired arm, keeping our relationship together.
But I was too fatigued, and I slipped.

Why have you left me?

I needed you, I lost my way, I tripped and you left me for dead.


So many days go by, pass and spin and I’m left still
Glued to the floor of reality, a lost love zone.
I watch as time passes,
People marry,
Love flourishes, and I stand and watch as it spins.
A time trap, a pool of desire struck down and tied to a bar

I’m trapped by your revoked love,
Lost by your fleeting touch
Hidden and beaten by your distracting look.