Litkicks Message Board Archive


Posted to Poetry

you mean you found yourself online doing a google search and it sorta shocked you like it did to me?

didn't mean to screw with your mind... geesh... even accidentally... LOL!!!

that's interesting that you added the last two lines... sometimes my edits work that way, too... i'll let it sit and then look at it later and realize i want to add something and oftentimes i want to take many lines away... i tend to ramble and it's way too long often, i've been told... so i start clipping, chopping away at dead weight... that's when it comes together best for me anyway

yeah, i thought the last two lines were dynamic but that wasn't to say that they held the piece together... the whole piece was incredibly interesting and dreamlike and spirtiual and just really good... the whole thing hit me hard... the last two lines worked well, i thought, because they gave it a punch and it was like BOOM, waking up to something incredible....

again, this is a powerful piece

well done