Litkicks Message Board Archive

Under a Van Gogh Sunset (please critique)

Posted to Poetry

Under a Van Gogh sunset, we watched the moon rise.
It showed like a drop of quicksilver in the night, suspended by the stars.
We saw sizzling comets whiz over us,
orange and red.

We walked the wierd beach,
hand in gentle hand,
down through the angry chaos
of waves.
We felt the fear, but happy still.
We didn't know where we were going,
but we knew we were going together.
there was compassion there...
dare I say love.

So our lips met in simultaneous explosion,
-like waves.
And we surrendered to the fullness of the ocean moment.
The quicksilver night watched us.
The jelous waters of the cold Atlanic
yearned and pulled.
-Just two lovers, holding eachother,
under the shining moon, starry Atlanic skies.