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I wept for a stranger (please critique)

Posted to Poetry





She slipped away, under faded yellow lights,
With a faint distant echo of a cowboy show in the background.
The stale miserable stench of death lingered in each plain white room
Stitching hope and suffering into each withered pale face.
But she lost, and faded away leaving the room with a sob.

She slipped away under the drip dropping of morphine.
Star dazed, and weak eyed, she slowly slipped away into a somber slumber.
A burden dropped like a stone from her fatigued shoulders
And fell upon her husbands stranded hand
Left bare and cold, sadly weeping,
As it out stretched toward her limp body.

I heard the sad slow weep build and contract as it echoed in the distance
The bleak walls have seen so many tragedies in their time,
Hidden beneath the white, pure shell,
Stuffed with empty cries, sad and angered, and with emotional screams, grim and helpless.
And I sat, and listened on,
I’ve never heard a thing so sad, so lonely before.
Left by a loved one to swim in an ocean of choppy water.

I sat and listened as I felt it hit.
Like a hurricane, it came on strong, leaving me frail and maudlin.
My eyes slowly melted, leaving a lost wet trail to my mouth.
The fury hit and shook me hard, left me dazed.
It’s the first time a tear was shed for a stranger, the first time a shrill traveled my spine for someone unknown.
A shutter so deep that it cracked me, a whisper so soft that it broke my heart
The pain shattered my insides, left them sharp and disillusioned,
I wept a long wet trail of good byes.