Litkicks Message Board Archive

peanut butter and jelly for a free lunch

Posted to Poetry

i had the (mis)fortune of missing out on childhood.
-not like michael jackson
my father was simple minded
it never came to me.
never had the premonition in my mind-
-to play like the ninja turtles
-to act like she had cooties
-to be the kid with the new shoes.
i never had the premonition-

when others were playing on the merry-go-round,
as it merry-went-round,
i was carrying on
my own charade. my own thought-dreams
-i was my grandfather, a vet returning home from the
south pacific,
a slug in my leg, half and half in my hand,
a pipe in my mouth
-the DNC on my mind.
-while she was playing hopscotch
i was imagining a bottle of scotch.
i was in Red Badge (of Courage)
courageously storming the flank
-death in the afternoon.

i never dreamt i was a football star-
-i never wanted to be a Wolverine.
I wanted to be Richard Jordan,
fighting in the Spanish mountains,
that was my dream.

and now i wait,
i wait for love
i fear i will be 30
i fear i will be forty
i fear i will be 50
i fear i will be sixty
before my peers catch up to me.
before she says "ive read that, too."
before they say "now we are veterans, returning from overseas.
with a slug in our heart, and half and half in our brain."
No pipes, no cigars. tobbacco causes cancer.