Litkicks Message Board Archive

through windows weeping....

Posted to Poetry





from nowhere into nothing, he spoke,
"i remember how you looked
walking toward me --
long, purposeful strides
eyes straight ahead
a demeanor of calm and
purpose, bag on your shoulder --
an intent and complete woman.
oh, how I loved you
in that moment!"

his eyes had a glaze over them
as if he had emerged from
a cloud drowning, blending
with the scene he described --
as if he had escaped his own body
and entered hers,
his spirit drifting in a thin line
or a small stream out of
irises, rising to the ceiling,
seeping out the small crack
in a window too narrow
to let air in --
and when he spoke
the pressurized cabin burst,
and he flew a thousand miles
and four weeks or was it
a hundred years
backwards through time.

........and he continued
........as if it wasn't over, as if
........the sun would come up again

"yes," he said, "and then afterward,
i stood watching you walk out,
climbing the ladder and
disappearing inside
and i stared there trying to
see through solid metal
for one more glimpse of you,
looking at all those very small windows
which would soon be twisted and tossed
but which one was yours,
i wondered? which one was yours?
and could you see me hating
to let you go?"

she thought for just a moment,
checked her watch
watching the second hand
melt and vanish,
Dali's painting
on her wrist.

three breaths and
a count to twenty with
a sigh long enough to
recognize this mystic moment
of reflection as some great lesson --
as if god was a magician
offering a sermon of
supreme magnitude
about the fallacy of time
through mirrors.

and finally her answer came
in a shallow breath off the gray --

"oh, how i too remember the coming,
she said, when i walked so purposefully
toward you, yesterday's kiss
a faint phantom on a trip
of deny, but
in just a minor moment
our eyes blinked,
and there i was
trapped in departure,
staring at you through a
window not much wider
than my dissolved face,
not quite ready for
the take off."

........take off your clothes,
........take off your pain.
........i want to love you
........again and again

and she could feel the distance already
and she hadn't even left the ground,
so she squeezed my eyes in a slant
or a twist of renunciation
caught in the blindness of reminisce,
just to get a view and looked up
toward the terminal and thought,
terminal, yes, NO! --
he stood with arms folded
staring down and out.

and just then the sky broke open
with a weak drizzle and the window cried,
raindrops trailing the chant of
Paradise Lost,
the melody of Claire de Lune
drowning her ears.

........in the unlikely event of
........an emergency,
........pull the handle --
........simply rotate
........the window
........and toss it out of the hole.
........radio to control,
........radio to control
........how do we verify that
........this is operations
........telling us to wait for
........connectors?
........who is in control?
........is there anybody there?

but there he was,
like Love incarnate
in a weeping glass,
firm and sturdy like a tower --
so strong, so secure,
so not hers.

and she thought,
"maybe i've run myself down
on a dead-end road "--
but soon the motors revved,
the propellors turned,
and she taxied out and
then she couldn't even see

........it's over........

the terminal fading
from view.

perhaps one day
in the memory
of distant lucid rain
she will see his face
reflected from a lake
and look into the shimmer of
their yesterday's refrain
and she will still be loving him --
this all was no mistake.

........but she trips back to this
........and trip sback to that
........and it's a trip back to
........wherever she's not

and yes, they were right
about the windows and so
she pulled the handle,
rotated the window
and tossed it out
the hole
in the center
of her
chest.


9/17/2000