thanks SooZen, you and Cecil have been always kind to me. Sorry I had to delete my long poem, it was too sad really, and I'll write such poems only to my own use in the future. You know, I never could do the mourning process properly, because I had small kids, and even my brothers' kids were near me, so I had to show we'll survive and find joy in our lives. Also my work was there to take care of, pretty heavy teaching at school - no chance for mourning. Love from Anne.