Litkicks Message Board Archive

never take ecstasy at work...

Posted to Utterances

this morning i was sitting on a bench outside the building in which i work, smoking a cigarette and reading the newspaper when tom rode past on his gsxr1100 motorcycle. he backed the bike into one of the motorcycle parking bays, revved the bike up to about 10000 rpm's, held down the front brake, dropped the clutch and laid about two kilos of rubber on the asphalt...
after he had turned the bike off, he removed his helmet and walked over towards me. even from a distance i could see that his eyes were all pupil... 'for fuck's sake, here comes 6'6" of trouble,' i thought to myself.
'nice entrance there, tommyboy,' i said.
'fuck, man... i dropped two mitsubishi's about an hour ago, i'm fuckin' frying,' he replied.
i laughed, 'stay the hell away from me, buddy.'

a few hours later, i saw tom walking around with a brand new mop and giggling to himself...
'what've you got there, tom?' i asked.
'this is broom,' he said as he absentmindedly stroked the head of the mop as if it were the head of a woman.
tom's girlfriend - melanie, joined us and asked tom what the fuck he was doing.
'fuck off, bitch... this is your replacement.'
i reached out my hand and touched the mop head, 'sure is a fine lookin' broom,' i remarked...
'fuck off... get your own fuckin' broom,' said tom as he clutched the mop to his chest lovingly.

an hour later my supervisor - mick, walked into my control room with a worried look on his face.
'have you seen tom?' he asked.
'yeah, he went into the toilet with his mop,' i replied...