she's right, and here's a bit of elucidation from my side: everything you do in this world is your choice, unless it's something that comes down to being held down, that's not a choice. everything else, though, is on you. so look at it this way: you are choosing to be around this person who is hurting you. if you truly don't want them to hurt you anymore, don't let them be in your life. stop devoting your energy to them. it's hard, i know that much. but it still is a choice, and whining about being hurt is only redundant when you're doing it to yourself.