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A century of Fakers (please critique)

Posted to Poetry




I got chased through the backbone of Gods dry arid canal
Lost and naked in a drunken stupor
I was viscously attacked by Gods devilish henchman
Hunted by his serenity, devoured by his relentless fury

My mind spat out the last remains of a sobered son
Left me weak without control, I lacked life
Lacking life and running coward from the face of danger
It loomed in the distance, hovered above my heavy head
Hissed in confidence
Snarled with agonizing control

I ran and sweated, feeding the growing fire of fear
It glinted off my red angered chest
Fueling the desire in the beast.
I bobbled for control, spitting at the pelting grains of sand
Whipping at the poisoned air

Soon the vacant desolate wasteland slipped away
Giving way to green pastures and thorny foot paths
They tunneled through the bland daybreak.
The stinging scent of salt floated and soon penetrated the thick air
Filling my lungs with a ill faded light of disaster
Leaving me full of lost emotions, a hollow awkwardness
Like well eaten bread

The chiming and clanking of metal echoed in my head
Sung the fearful hymn of the beast
Sang it loud, made me whimper in distaste, shaking with harmony
The mystical disease dug inside and festered, fostering my anxiety
Bleeding the well hidden climatic evil
Releasing my weakness, leaving me vulnerable
Tied down in an open field to be eaten by vultures

The beast could taste my thick juicy blood and thrived off such golden fruit
He smelt my scent and ran for the hills
Chasing and watching
Clanking and snarling

He chased me through the paths and bit at my leg
Tugged at my mind, toyed with my emotions
My frail naked body was in his control and he snapped for power
Locked his jaw and ran for his kind
Destroyed my body, enslaved my mind

I ran till I could run no more
Let out a loud wild cry of life and fell
Hit my head on the rough grainy trail and got sucked through generations of swine
Listless and lucid, tainted yet clear
The beast took me that day, taken by my savior
As I slid through decades I blinked an eye and mourned a century
A century of fakers