Litkicks Message Board Archive

scrabbled.......... (repost)

Posted to Action Poetry




i'm trying to get the letters together
on the rack i'm strung out on
in front of me
to lessen the intensity
of the game so i can play
a few moves ahead --

i need to pacify myself,
appease and assuage my thinking
in the quiet and peace to determine
all the places on the board
which have space for me.

but this is just a game of scrabble, maybe
and all of the triple-word -scores are blocked,
and it's never my turn, it seems, when i have
all the right letters in order
and the perfect place
to set them down.

but despite that, i'm singing along
with the Love lyrics i'm writing,
in the middle of a tournament
and the phrases are streaming from my lips
from a muse which won't let me go,
while trying to line up my little squares
with letters and numbers,
amusing myself
with the perfection
of paradise imagined.

maybe i was better off being the angst queen,
slamming the world hard up against the wall,
tossing out angry statements
about how life can confuse
the order of the alphabet with point value
since some words make no sense
and have no value at all
no matter how precariously
they are set down
on a board destined
to be knocked over
by opponents
who don't want you
to win.

i don't have a dictionary.
i don't need one.
i already know how to spell
but i'm still trying to figure out
the definitions of me --

but i just don't know
which letters to choose
and how to place them
on the board
in the right order to gain
the most value from them,
and sometimes i wonder
if getting the highest score
is what i want to do --

though scoring
has often numbed me,
and sometimes
i thank god
for numb.

and so i cover my tiles with my hand,
gaurding myself from eyes
which stare over my shoulder
trying to see through
to my intentions
because the game
isn't fair
when you
cheat.

give me seven
tiles, i'll reach,
give me heaven,
please don't preach!
give me letters,
line my rack --
play me now,
i won't look back.

it's very true that all of us
have separate hells to go through
and i don't want to be a part of yours
any more than you want to be
part of mine --
all i want to do is
play a good game
with points worthy
of my intelligence level.

but recently, it seems
it's all about everybody else's rules --
and so, i'm reading the box lid one more time
thinking that i thought i memorized all of this
even as a child -- but sometimes
it's all about you and you and you
and it's clear to me
that we'll get nowhere
playing scrabble in teams.

this is an individual game.
and sometimes, maybe,
you're playing with yourself--
and THAT line made me laugh
even though i was the one
who wrote it.

ok. so, i'm looking again.
"spoiled dove" on the double-word pink?
"soiled love" on the triple-edge of extinct?
oh shoot! i don't have an "L"!
maybe i'll pull one from the pile next time
but i've picked up letters
from this stack of alphabetical confusion
several times now, and still
can't seem to win,
no matter my skill level.

and YES!! i CAN spell L-O-V-E!
by the way.

so now, i realize that there comes a time
when walls must be built back up
out of mortar and stone
around the bleeding
of a combination of words
which haven't even been
spelled out yet, especially
when a chest is wide open
and lungs are coming out
and even though
all the right letters
with all the right points
are ready to be placed
on all the right spaces to win,
maybe there's too many
people playing
and the tally is being
inproperly calculated.

and i can't breathe
waiting for my turn.

give me seven
tiles, i'll reach,
give me heaven,
please don't preach!
give me letters,
line my rack --
play me now,
i won't look back.

there are times when people
begin making arbitrary decisions
of ultimate truth
when words out of context
are misplaced on the board.

but here's the deal of the tiles --

sometimes the only word that works
starts with the sixth letter of the alphabet
and it needs to be screamed outloud
because it's TIME to take defense
against misplayed letters
racking up negative points.

though i realize that better wording
properly placed with
the highest numbered tile
in the appropriate postition
would have been
much more
beneficial.

but all i ever really wanted was
to play the game forever
because i LOVE it so much.

yet at the same time, i'd truly enjoy
having someone give me a lunch date occasionally
and watch my eyes while i'm not eating
and buy me drinks i have no desire
to sip the last drops out of
and light my slender cigarettes
as they laugh at my humor
and tell me I'm alluring
and attractive
and have their
full time and attention.

but until then,
let me get these tiles in order.

there must be some word i can play
which will blow someone away
despite the fact that the
triple -word squares
are blocked.

give me seven
tiles, i'll reach,
give me heaven,
please don't preach!
give me letters,
line my rack --
play me now,
i won't look back.

so i guess
i'll shoot for putting my Z
or my Q times three
on a dark blue
three-times-the-letter space
because i'm holding
both tiles, just waiting.

oh, and by the way,
i also have the U --

No problem there!