maybe i am a little indifferent. but the only connection i feel with the things around me is when they bother to shw me that i don't belong with them. i feel linked to people but i believe that's the immense force of our minds, a force that we don't really understand. and yes, i am living in the past as well for i have the conscience of generations in my genetical structure. the past weighs havily on man, but apart from that, call me stubborn, shallow or stupid, i still don't see that god or special connection as you call it.