The other day I told my doctor to blow it out his ass
He's always acting so smug
When he grabs my nads and tells me to cough
How can you treat this
Like you're weighing cold cuts at the supermarket?
Or watching golf on TV?
This is a big deal for me
Not many folks touch me there
And it's usually preceded by at least a kiss
You arrogant prick
This is like waiting for a bus for you isn't it?
I don't want you to jump up and down
Or hoot and holler or anything
But at least give me an uncomfortable look
And a shrug of the shoulders
Just give me some indication that this
Is uncomfortable for you too
Even if it isn't
Because you've handled eleven scrotums today
Pretend for my benefit, at least!
Where's your bedside manner?
Where's your homoerotic denial?
Where's your wife when all this is going on?
I don't think I'll be coming back here anytime soon
Isn't there a new way to do that test anyhow?
I'd think that at this stage
In the world's development
They'd have come up with a machine for this.
Everyone's too busy
Handling nuts to put much time into it, I guess
I know it's not an intimate moment
It's not supposed to be at least
But, man, I can smell the coffee
And tuna salad on your breath!
Things don't get much more intimate
Than to smell a man's lunch-breath
While he's grabbing your balls!