Litkicks Message Board Archive

I especially

Posted to Poetry




like the line "jet blown back to Betty Boop days" and would suggest that the line "and could this make-up" be tweaked a bit, i.e.

'and could this make-up hide the eyes
like curtains in your window
singing the song that plays
over and over and over'

perhaps,
play with those last lines a bit for more ease and flow.

Good stuff tho, I could see and feel it.

SooZen