Litkicks Message Board Archive

tonight there are no stars

Posted to Action Poetry




tonight there are no stars.
i stare out of my window
curtains yellowed by
chainsmoked anxiety
and there is nothing to look at
nothing to see
nothing that i can notice
and wonder if he
is looking at the same thing.

there is no him.

calm crawls along my edges
and i should let it come inside
it's what i've fought for, after all
i've ached to purge my demons
and longed to stop fighting
dreamed of rest.

here i am,
free
finally
of everything that would hold me
and i can't take it
i find myself searching
for one more battle to fight
one more way
i can break myself

peace terrifies me.

new leaves sway timidly
in the nighttime silver breeze
and i watch them move
knowing that tonight
i belong to myself
and tonight,
tonight
there are no stars.