Litkicks Message Board Archive

rainy saturday melancholy

Posted to Action Poetry




on this rainy saturday
my thoughts turn
to memories
worn threadbare
from overuse.

only when it rains
do i remember what i was
back when i knew
how things would turn out
back when i was
that girl with a plan
that girl who'd set the world on fire
that girl who had a pocketful of matches.

and now it rains.

and i remember her.
she and i are different.
i'd know her anywhere
but she wouldn't be able to
pick my face out in a crowd.
i have spent my years
hiding under sweaters and fear
unable to give voice
to what it is i wanted
because that would make it real.

i drive through my days
and pay no attention
to where i'm going
blinking in the afternoons
at locations i'd never plan.
traveling in circles
from empty to
full to
empty again.

when i take a moment to realize my present
that's when i get told that at least
my future's promising.

so i watch things shift and settle.

waiting.

and on this rainy saturday
i realize that i'm too young
to be this goddamned
old.