Hey Andrew, this is Jennifer. I was wondering if your poem meant to have religious undertones in it. I think it was full of good imagery, but it kind of went over my head. It almost sounded to me like it was about the end of the world, but I'm probably completely wrong. Could you give me an interpretation? I don't personally think you should change that part that was suggested...I think it goes well with the rest of the poem and is needed for the lines that come later.