change, no late phone call..

by lotusgrl

Posted to Action Poetry on 2001-04-24 21:51:00

i wish i could get a call this late
having something to anticipate when it turns close to 1 am and im in bed
but now, its for her, shes in her bed
she can feel all warm and cozzy and happy from her phone call
and i sit here looking at a long list of people
most of whom i hardly know at all
or just stopped talking to
and i made a call to you earlier but you werent home
and i just wrote to a friend in caps a reply
i just had to say i didnt know why everyone had to change
thats really what i was thinking
i didnt really say that
it was a reply to him saying everyone changes, grows apart,
i just said but it was fucking everyone, but well, not exactly everyone
just about almost everyone ive recently met
and i swear you can bet him, him, and him dont really care anymore
but thats whats change is there for, to stop talkign to all of them and move on w/ my life
its a good feeling not to send them im’s and emails and try to keep up w/ them
its a great feeling to not cry over arguments with my enemies who used to be my closest friends and instead push away them all with one shove, one more night of not talking and avoiding them like im stalking out life to find people who do share my dreams, interests, and trust me.
trust me so well, secrets are exchanged daily
going to bed without any regrets of what we’d said or not said
theyd all like to try to show they did care, but give some contradictory bullshit to try to show they still do
i know they truly dont
and giving me a time of day they wont
just hit an okay reply
and dont look me in the eye when talking w/ me because thats way too much energy shown to me
they should take lessons from you, at least seem to care
and i know u care, u just arent where id like u to be