sal takes a stab at it
while keeping in mind that one size never fits all in any situation, here is my reckless take. You asked:
*do we actually love people. can a person love another.*
yes, but substitute "unconditionally accept" for the word love.
* is it the situation that we are so obsessed with*
a situation can play a critical role too, but just because a situation changes it doesn't automatically mean that the "ties that bind" change. Think about a family living happily in germany in 1938, gets broken up and sent to detention camps, reunited in a resettlement camp in canada & eventually immigrates to the U.S. where they suburbanize. The situation has changed drastically, repeatedly, the ties that bind never waver & in fact make them stronger.
* how do you fall 'out' of love with a person? *
you don't. An ego implosion (inward-directed emotional dynamic) simply makes you lose your focus on unconditional acceptance. But if your consciousness stays focused on unconditional acceptance (an outward projecting emotional dynamic) you will always be other-person-directed, thus "in love"
i know what yer thinking: SMOKE WHAT?
peace in yer struggles