Litkicks Message Board Archive

Re:

Posted to Action Poetry




A man distracted from his true admirer easily is not worth the effort she puts in. Everything's a cheap thrill and life isn't fair. My Short and lonely opinion!

The rhyming distracts, only because there is so much of it and it is irregular, it suddenly appears, go's a while, changes. Was it purposefull? With some editing you could make the rhyming really work and increase the worth of the piece.