Litkicks Message Board Archive

critique

Posted to Action Poetry




i didn't have time to read it very thoroughly so you could disregard this but as an impression, this is what i got:
to me it seems to wordy, like the essence of what you are saying is lost behing the descriptions. also, the main character seems flawless which makes it feel somewhat unreal.
the main character seems kinda hollywood cliche too but your ideas are interesting.