Litkicks Message Board Archive


Posted to Action Poetry

Roy Guy lived a short life
Amicable to all had no effect
On the span of his existence
At 25, he led a successful
Seemingly autonomous living
Normality ruled his unconditionally
Nothing out of the ordinary about him
All the qualities of his fellow man:
Money was the major priority
Having a refined, upper-class appearance
An explosive, voracious need for female genitalia
Lack of innovative originality
Supposed common decency
Enjoying the game with buddies and beer
Roy Guy's birth occurred on the identical
Day of Jefferson's and Adams' expiration
His overly patriotic parents scientifically planned it that way
And so, on the 186th day of the year, he turned 25
Not knowing that he was reaching his physical peak
His intellectual peak was one of non existential fantasy
All Roy Guy had left was his physical prowess
Did he know that his physical potency would
Diminish 1% every year from the age of 25
At the age of 25 and 1 day
After his physical valor had only deteriorated .27%
He climbed the tallest building in the world and stood on the roof
With him, he had a rope that was exactly 6 feet
Shorter than the height of the building he was currently
Standing on. The other tied to the edge and
Leaped off. The other end connected to his perfectly constructed
Patriotic laden neck. After 15 seconds of free fall,
The rope come to its end, Roy Guy was about to
die, yet he had no flashes of his life in his eyes
Just bleak darkness. Witnesses proclaim
he had a semi-evil, semi-omnipotent smile
A nanosecond before anyone could breath
The rope ultra-violently tightened
Roy Guy's head, brutally evulsed from his body
Blood gushed out his cavities where the body and head were attached
The power was so great, that Roy Guy's decapitated corpse
Was levered into an office building across the street
Directly into his office. He planned it that way
During the flight from the evulsion to his landing in his office
His limbs flailed wildly, and he performed somersaults
It was quite a circus show
The former brains of the operation flew halfway up
the building with the rope do to some obscure physics laws
The cranium bounced up and down and eventually gently
fell down to the ground. It landed on a 7 year old boy
and it shoved his head down into his body and this boy
had the head of the suicidal Roy Guy.
The boy's mother was quite pleased. Her son was ugly
and disfigured, but Roy Guy's head was beautiful
That boy's brain died that day, it was meant to be
He was too smart to live without execution.
So, as hard as Roy Guy tried to end his life
All his efforts ended up in vain, too bad, how sad
His death would have done no one good.
In the waking moments of his 25th birthday
Roy Guy's penis became stuck in his secretary's vagina
She had literally locked him up, and he had a startling epiphany
His existence of life was a crime, he was a hardened felon
Not crimes against anyone, but for atrocities against himself
In case you're wondering. Roy Guy's last thoughts were:
"Anna, his secretary, had great tits, but, damn, what a bitch!"