Litkicks Message Board Archive

shattered past, but its all gone- critique por favor

Posted to Action Poetry

you see the glass half empty like the bright color of the rose
only predicting a futile future
in your words it shows
stopping to see how your world isnt full of friends, just mostly foes,
willing to show you away at the blink of an eye
washing you away like the wind whipping sharply across the dark sky
the darkness under eyes spreads like a woman quickly leaving your bed
leaving without telling you a word, no more i love yous, wants nothing to do with you
now another rose lays far from you, but cant erase the flat, sad lines from the lips that once curled
with a short lift, uplifting the darkness in one short whirl with her bright, large eyes and holding you close
wishing that everything you wanted would be in your hands at times,
lines would no longer be there, but the harder you wish, the more it becomes unfair
it doesnt seem to be happy where its going or where it will go
willing to now change, to see reality, now hide behind the facade that once was made to erase the lines
to escape the fears, wipe away the tears that teared like the rips at her hands going down a back
the hands crawling under a shirt wanting to make a tiny scratch, but making a huge hole
digging into a shirt, but finding only a broken soul under a thin layer of skin
teasing you with hopes and dreams, yet making the morning come like a murderer full of sin
slowly giving a look like the worlds gonna cave in
nothing could be there
nothing could have worked out
something, somehow, must become fair, but most isnt
but im sure as hell something i hope works out now between us