Litkicks Message Board Archive

Right About You

Posted to Action Poetry




i remember one night about two years ago..
I came home and you threw one of my notebooks
at me and demanded to know how I could write
about this boy and that boy
but never you.
You asked me again yesterday
and Im going to give you an answer
you probably will not like.
You asked me this standing in front
of your parents house
the one Im not allowed into
because I am a BAD person
because I have gang tattoos
because I am not "white"
(because your parents arent right)
because I was a junkie..
but..uh,what were you?
i've seen you dopesick
we went to the same methadone clinic
what makes me less than you?
Those are some of the reasons.
Why cant I write about you?
Because your 32,and mama still tells
you who to love
what do do
(and you listen)
so go ask her to find someone
suitable for you.
Why cant I write about you?
Because I still love you
like a fool does
because when I cry
you look away instead of hold me.
Because though you know I lost another
child when I was 18
you are trying to take ours away.
Because you lied.
Why cant I write about you?
Because when I dropped off our son
today from my visitation
(and please read every drop off
bitterness you can into that one
word :visitaion,feel free,dear)
I could barely release his tiny
2 year old grasp from me
and I tell you I taught him juice in
Spanish today
and I give you a can of Goya pera juice
I bought him
and you take him from my arms,with the
can,and go inside.
The door is shut again.
I look back and there is the can of juice
dropped outside the door
like it is trash.
This is why I cannot write about you.
Because I once suspected you of having no
heart
and Im afraid I was right about you.


So here it is.
I didnt say youd like it.