Litkicks Message Board Archive

george carlin. good american

Posted to Poetry and Politics




YES, I'M A BAD AMERICAN
by George Carlin

I Am Your Worst Nightmare. I am a BAD American. I am  George Carlin.

I believe the money I make belongs to me and my  family, not some
mid-level
governmental functionary be it Democratic or  Republican!
I'm in touch with my feelings and I like it that way,  damn it!
I think owning a gun doesn't make you a killer, it  makes you a
smart
American.
I think being a minority does not make you noble or  victimized, and
does
not entitle you to anything
I believe that if you are selling me a Big Mac, try to  do it in
English.
I think fireworks should be legal on the 4th of  July.
I think that being a student doesn't give you any more  enlightenment
than
working at Blockbuster.
In fact, if your parents are footing the bill to put your pansy ass
through
4 years plus, of college, you haven't begun to be  enlightened.
I believe everyone has a right to pray to his or her  God when and where
they want to.
My heroes are John Wayne, Babe Ruth, Roy Rogers, and  whoever canceled
Jerry Springer.
I don't hate the rich. I don't pity the  poor.
I know wrestling is fake and I don't waste my time  arguing
about
it.
I think global warming is a big lie. Where are all  those experts now,
when
I'm freezing my ass off during these long winters and  paying, paying,
paying?
I've never owned a slave, or was a slave, I didn't  wander forty years
In
the desert after getting chased out of  Egypt. I haven't
burned any
witches or been  persecuted by the Turks and neither
have
you! So,
shut-the-Hell-up  already.
I want to know which church is it exactly where the  Reverend Jesse
Jackson
practices, where he gets his money, and why he is always
part of the
problem and not the solution.
Can I get an AMEN on that one?
I think the cops have every right to shoot your sorry ass if
you're
running from them.
I also think they have the right to pull your ass over  if you're
breaking
the law, regardless of what color you  are.
I think if you are too stupid to know how a ballot  works, I don't want
you
deciding who should be running the most powerful nation  in the world
for
the next four years.
I dislike those people standing in the intersections  trying to sell me
crap or trying to guilt me into making "donations" to their  cause.
These
people should be targets.
I believe that it doesn't take a village to raise a  child, it takes two
parents.
I believe if she has her lips on your Willie, it's  sex, and this
applies
even if you are
President of the United States.
And what the hell is going on with gas prices...  again?
If this makes me a BAD American, then yes, I'm a BAD
American.
If you are a BAD American too, please forward this to everyone you
know.
We need our country back!