taking a deep breath
Posted to Action Poetry
by judih on 2001-04-09 20:33:00
reading one and three (two doesn't do it as much for me)
i think three is more polished, but i dont know if that means better.
what says it best for you?
maybe take a break and come back in a while to take them both for a spin.
i like that you left the repetitions in 3
you honed down the part about your mother and her fabulous sense of fashion...elegant is a rather sharp word...does it fit her? only you know these things...
its a good poem, so far in all its forms
