Hey
Posted to Poetry
by A.W. on 2002-08-30 13:08:00
another cool one D, I like the use of the 'splashing' verb.
I don’t like the last line of the second stanza though, I know it rhymes but it just sounds clumsy.
The opposition of the 3rd and the fourth stanza is great but maybe needs more of a gap between, some pause or devise that slows and prepares you for the antithesis or juxtaposition (did I type that?) of stanza 4.
That’s my opinion... the rest is great... how old is young?
cos you read more than me... but is R. Frost any good?
