Litkicks Message Board Archive

Go grab a Coors Light and kick the shit outa some foreigner

Posted to Poetry and Politics




This kind of beer-commercial bluster never fails to cause a snicker to form on my downturned lips. I can see you right now "standing tall" (to quote one of your certain heroes, Ronald Reagan) in the back of your Dodge 4X4 bellowing this crap in the parking lot of the strip mall.

What you fail to intuit is that all the "lazy ignorant Americans" you rail against, those who are so "spoiled and brainwashed" got that way because of the triumph of the system you extoll. And what is that? Rapacious, greed-driven Capitalism.

Unless I'm missing something, the predominant cultural message to Americans is buy Buy BUY and consume Consume CONSUME. No need for introspection or discourse, just sit your asses down and watch some quality television (hmm, maybe "Survivor" or "Fear Factor" or the shopping channel, or maybe some Big League sports), and swill some Coors Light while you're at it and drool over the cheerleaders, and when you're bored with that, get on over to the mall in your SUV and BUY SOMETHING, that's the patriotic thing to do, and don't forget to fly your American flag proudly from the bed of your pick-up truck (and, if you live down south, make sure you proudly display that iconic symbol of inclusion, the confederate flag).

Oh gee, I guess I'm all confused. I was supposed to be describing "lazy ignorant Americans" but instead I've been describing Patriots and Republicans. Silly me. Well, fuck it. No fucking Arab dictator is going to threaten my right to consume the worst, mindless, toxic cultural rubbish that my fellow countrymen have the God-given freedom to produce and dupe each other into buying, no siree. And before those nasty communists and socialists dare even THINK about doing away with my right to SHOUT UTTER BULLSHIT and make an ASS of myself in public and then GRANDSTAND about how PROUD it makes me feel, well, we should just kill 'em first and let God sort 'em out.

And all you freedom-seeking, democracy-loving, politically-oppressed foreign-ass motherfuckers, we KNOW why people like you come to the good old US of A. Because you're all really a bunch of lazy bums who wanna suck the tit of our welfare system and buy expensive sneakers and cars and play your stupid music and make an ethnic mess out of our red, white, and blue picnic. Well, this country ain't made for people like you ... or you ... or you ... or you .....or you ...or you...... or you ......

God bless America.