Litkicks Message Board Archive
To Whom it May Concern
This note has been most ruthlessly
scrutinized for any offending 'i's' or other
unmentionable telltale signs.
In spite of all good intentions, however,
it is my duty to inform the reader of this
last letter, that the writer is planning on a most certain demise at no inconvenient hour.
Before such foul closure, it is the wish of the writer to kiss full smack on the lips the numerous delights that have chosen to parade themselves in front of the writer.
Since there have been many occasions on which the writer has kept all such predilections secret, this written testament is firmly stating that at least one thousand and seventy nine love affairs have transpired in the writer's mind and loins.
To those who co-operated with or without their knowledge, the writer wishes to bestow sincere thanks. All orgasms were most gratefully dedicated to all of you delicious men, women and sundry forms of sexual variation.
In addition, the writer would like to bluntly state that it is to humanity's advantage that all wars will stop for heaven's sakes and soon, if at all possible.
That then is about it.
It is grievously important that all dogs be taken for long walks, with their beloved masters/mistresses...
and equally essential that mangoes and guavas be enjoyed at the very moment they drop from the tree.
And now, onward until onward is no longer an option.