Litkicks Message Board Archive

Miriam

Posted to Action Poetry




A totally spontaneous poem about a dead great-aunt

The scene set – lights high, you yelling again –
this time they – they? – the doctors want your eye shut –
sewed blackness from hair piercing – it hurts you – this more, you cry –
you cannot be a one-eyed queen – you know no blind people stumbling
babbling tin can holding alms asking down the city street – it hurts you –
not like the thought and scene about to be set on infinite loop –
in Ray’s mind –

This time your yells aided with a pawn bought pistol – you slummed it – leaving
Ray’s happy land for the city – did you find the blind man, queen? you bought
the pistol – your demise – for how much? not enough – you yelled about
your eye – ‘No Justice! No Justice!’ – before Ray’s eyes – who was unjust – they –
your cries to oblivion – your face followed in a bloody curse – the bullet the swearer –
in a giant ‘Fuck!’

You cried for Justice – you the sole receiver, or will you dispatch your grace to others?
can I get some justice, queen one-eye?

Just to die of unhappiness in Ray’s eyes – the man
to stand mountainous for your happiness –
Just to send gore through his brain forever – your brain
on his face – calling an ambulance – holding your selfish hand –
still clutching the pistol – faceless – cry tears – not phoenix tears –
dying – dead – Just? queen of no one now –

You cried for Justice – Mary didn’t cry for you –
couldn’t, stunned – called me – ‘Is your mother there’ –
rushed – ‘No’ – ‘Can’t you answer the phone!’ – what does
that mean – ‘What’ – click and hang up – grieving in
insanity – she senile bantering life plays
you to be alive – smiles at your memory –
repressed the flood of your death – no blood
on her face – only an illusory memory – pained –
she sits your memory in a jar – going senile –
staring at your lived memory – rocking back and forth –
wearing a bracelet of yours – platinum life – she can’t
even cry – queen of emotion – Just?

Justice you scratched your face off – Gehenna:
should’ve scratched out that eye – now you in a void –
your atheist existence – your family has but your ashes –
you have nothing – you do not exist –
resting in nihilistic oblivion dark night poetry –
Justice in inexistence –

Rest then, Miriam, rest and be ignorant
of the pain your legacy sewed – like your eye
should have been – saved false justice for the
dime novels you tried – failed – writing –

You never touched my life – save indirectly –
you should see this now – I read some of your books –
in work, of course – this could’ve been a plot – are you laughing
queen dead – an ironic joke – the trash novelist to trash –
ashes to ashes – eyes to blood –

Think of your husband sitting there – sipping coffee
in the room that shattered his life – eating a Danish –
O opiate of the gods, Danish! Forgetting you for a brief second –
sees the phone he used – cries realizing how he suffers –

Think of my grandmother – resting on the porch – sitting –
‘Miriam knows that’ – ‘Mom, Miriam is dead’ my mom would
reply – blank stare – why is she in the urn – the jar of my mind –
she didn’t tell me she was dead – stop lying – I hate you! let me dream –
dreadful thoughts in life – nullness in death – my grandmother sees your
view, Miriam – I know she waits for death – biding time – come lord reaper –
send me to the void – and she waits for death – once a baseball fan – she sits
eats sleeps begs for the calm of death – so once more I can write poor eulogy –

look at your result – look at justice – the scale broke hit me on the head addling
my brain and crushing me and I didn’t even know you well I hate you you dumb bitch
you are killing my grandmother and I cannot forgive you you selfish whore endure endure endure but you couldn’t and you sought remedy in killing others so bye bye bye
rest peaceful in your hate fomented by illusions of they I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you – But I wish you were alive -