Litkicks Message Board Archive

sometimes (for illuminara)

Posted to Action Poetry

i get
so sad
i even cry myself
into sleep
in grey days
that have
blu violet sky
speckled in star dust
cause it smears
i hear the past
howl in my eye
with salty lines
that force themself
onto my face
movin down
the world is gone
and i am alone
twelve and scared
watchin my father die
in sterile white
walls that speak
of the sadness
without tact
to handle my
fragile questions
my hands wave
in front of me
grippin a cigarette
as if it were
life itself
inhalin it all
when i walked
into the day
and screamed
at the clouds
for my life
cursin eternity
for painful times
my wrist
my arms
my thighs
sliced by razors
to well up
in crimson beads
that were mortality
secretly hopin
i'd die
in a dried up
spot of rusty hues
that framed my
pale lithe form
in angelic macabre
turnin away
from those i loved
to face myself
in the broken mirror
of who i was
so different
from today
when i stand now
again in the sun
with white clouds
and i smile
with my smokes
lettin myself feel
with every pore
the joys of
without false friends
hurtful innuendos
meshed words
that were stone
all dissipating
with every single day
lookin at the rebirth
that has now
made me strong...

carmen, thank you, for everything...