Litkicks Message Board Archive

Ego Confessions and Todd's Dream

Posted to Action Poetry




can't find the words
any words that I could type
everything
seems a bunch of hype
what's wrong what's write
an ego confession seems in order . .

I don't know if i've ever loved but perhaps love is realitive.I want to be wise. My wisdom is a cry, my tears even lie. Who am I? I know who I am- a changeling- piece of the earth that wants to be the sun.
I want to be worshipped, or maybe just happy- but I always seem to be happier sad.
When in the company of others I often want to flee.
Everywhere I look I don't see- my eyes should ask but too often they tell -like a closed bucket in a well or a sea shell in which The pearl is a burden. After I die, it becomes a shining rarity treasured to find.
A broken glass- my essence is broken. Can hold no water.
Ego is a hole
without it would I ever know
My ego died and I was terrified.
Formless I lie dying a victim of time but really i'm alive.
I don't know if I believe in poetry.
I'm writing this as much for me as for you.
I've never believed in time but it seems to know me well.
It knows the write moves but- i've lost myself in vague refrences let me speak in concrete images for a moment
many a man writes a beautiful poem
that burns and twists out of reach inperceptively.
Don't think I know not what I write.
I think of shakespeare but don't get me wrong
the TV is the centerpiece of the home.
tales told by an idiot, full of sound and fury.
lacking meaning.
I kiss solitude as often as peace
I dream of death as often as life.
Would I live if I didn't have to? Or does it matter?
But let me stop these questions.
They are throwing stones at the moon.

All I ever wanted, was for people to think me beautiful, shining unique and wise.
I wish to be immortalized in song, in art, in a book.
But don't think me vain yet.

Rather this:
I wish to live a life worthy of all lives
a life truly human
touching upon every universal
tragedy and comedy
the stuff of myth and legend
a man of dreams
a man of defeat and triumph sound and fury
but gentle and soft
with meaning
A lover a seeker, a friend, a muse
i wish to inspire
i wish to burn upon the earth and the indestructible heart of, forgive my poetics, eternity, my life.
A man undeniably a human, a being of all beings
a real human
a child grown old
the age and experience
the pursuit of love and knowledge
crying laughing living dying
mortal and immortal
a symbol of the earth.

my poetry, in its best, perhaps flawed,
is a mandala
a symbol for life
to aid you in your meditations
a perhaps vague or percise declaration of self
a communication from my place
a human in a world of humans
a man among men
a person
with a timeless story
to be told.

There's my confession- let me hear yours
give me your mandalas
make me see
the universe in your eyes
let me live in your place
write from the heart

All my love,
Todd