Litkicks Message Board Archive
The Beginning of the End (part the first)
Bill Larfer was a crazy old man who lived in a shack about twenty miles outside of Manford, Oklahoma. No one else lived within a mile of him. He lived almost completely in isolation, with his two boys, Marman and Ternby. His two boys had never been to school, and were completely brainwashed by their father.
Bill ranted and raved every night, while standing on top of a chair and pointing his finger at an elk’s head mounted on the wall. He told Marman and Ternby that he did this because if he were to talk directly to his boys during one of his “sermons”, as he like to call them, the boys’ ears would catch fire and ants would crawl from the pores of their skin. Bill yelled about how the end of the world was coming soon, and during the end times, he would take control of the entire planet and become the most powerful being in the universe. He spoke in fiery tirades about how he wanted to take all rubber in the world and turn it into a powerful rope that would come alive and strangle anyone who had ever had sex before marriage. Then, he’d form all churches into one church, which would be in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean, and people would take boats out to ask for his wisdom. He would telepathically control vultures to swoop down and peck the eyes out from anyone who had ever lusted after another person’s spouse. Then, he would have the starving children in third world countries grow to one thousand feet tall and he would have herds of wild animals guide the giant children to the world’s largest cities, and the children would scare everyone out of the cities so they would all be devoured by the wild animals gathered waiting on the outskirts.
The survivors would be forced to roam the earth trying to survive. Then, Bill planned on cloning himself seventy seven times, and have the clones guide all the survivors to Yellowstone park, where he would put microchips in their brains and make them sexless slaves to his every demand, making them all builds shrine to the messiah, who will emerge from another dimension during a massive astrological disturbance when sixty four planets in seven different solar systems become aligned with one another. Then, when the messiah from the other dimension arrives, Bill will have his consciousness implanted in a microchip which will be placed into the mind of messiah as soon as he arrives. Then, he will be able to tap into the messiah’s consciousness and read his thoughts, so can study them long enough to adapt his own perceptual centers to that of the of the messiah’s home dimension. Then, he will become all powerful in two different dimensions, and after he kills the messiah, he will become the most intelligent being in the universe.
Sometimes while ranting, Bill’s voice begins to deepen to a subhuman pitch, so it sounds like thunder is coming out if his mouth instead of words. Then, he tells the boys that he is all powerful, and that they should do exactly what he tells them to do, without question. He says he is a higher being than them and that they should work hard to deserve the right to be in his presence. The boy’s skulls were rotten from the inside from the daily brainwashing sermons their dad gave ranted at the elk’s head.
Bill talked about how Oklahoma was the center of an energy vortex. He said that in the year 2003, a cloud of pure energy would rise from the center of the vortex, and start about a chain of effects that will alter the state of reality. He prophesized that aliens would come from up above in a spaceship with Will Rogers and Hank Williams Senior’s old guitar, and the aliens will get out and play some old honky tonk music, while Renee Decartes appears as a satanic candy bar manufacturer in the dreams of three thousand psychology people in the same night, beginning with Tod Floozy, an American psychology student in a foreign exchange program in Japan, and with each following dream occurring one minute after the previous one begin, and each one occuring exactly one thousand miles to the east of the previous dreamer for the first one thousand dreams. After the one thousandth dream, it will occur at random intervals in random places, until three o’clock in the morning the following night.
In the dream, Descartes will draw an upside down pentagram during a geometry lecture at a prestigious university, the blackboard will light on fire and the voice of Satan will comes through the blackboard and tell Descartes to make a candy bar called M and N, an abbreviation for Measure and Number. Then, Renee Descartes will jump for joy and gives his soul to Satan for the wonderful idea
This bizarre dream will only be the first event in a long chain of weird happenings close to the time of the energy cloud coming out of the vortex. Bill believes that when the energy cloud comes out, it will actually have been the result of his interdimensional counter part going through the astral plane from the 9dR55u dimension’s crossover curve barrier, and peering through a gap in the barrier through an opening in his third eye chakra and beaming down a message to Bill in this dimension. However, the fractal consciousness wave that will vibrate from Bill’s interdimensional counterpart to give him the signal will not maintain it’s original form when it crosses the barrier between the two dimensions. Instead of appearing as a beam, the relative size of a basketball, but shaped more like a giant artichoke, it will manifest itself in our dimension as a huge cloud of energy made up of trillions of tiny spinning energy vortices, ranging in size from the size of a molecule of beryllium to a ripened grape. This will only go on for three seconds, and only about ten people will actually see it happen .The cloud of energy coming out of the vortex will be a signal to Bill that he is to walk with his two boys to the closest road, flag a car down, knock the driver unconscious, and to drive the car wherever the voices in his head tell him to go.
One night, Bill was in the middle of one of his rants, when he felt a sudden chill down his spine. He was standing on his chair, facing the elk’s head while his two boys faced him from the side while sitting on the floor. Bill shouted,” And I will master the forces of nature and I will deliver retribution upon those who have given their soul to their basest desires. I will make they all pay for their transgression. When I take over, the world will fall under rule of my iron fist, and the waters will rise at my command, and I will call forth lightning bolts from the sky to strike down the wicked. The sinful will tremble in fear, and I say unto you...” he paused for a second. He tried to finish his sentence again,” And I say unto you...”, but for some reason he could not finish his sentence.
Bill stepped down from his chair and walked over to the window. Marman asked,” What is it dad?”
Bill turned to his son and yelled,” You do not speak without being told to speak, do you understand?”
Marman obediently nodded. Bill looked out the window and said,” There is a strange vibration in the air tonight. I feel deep within me that some force is at work. Some kind of plan is about to be put into action, on a cosmological scale. Our time is coming soon boys. Our mission is about to be at hand!” He turned back to his sons.
He said,” I want you two to think about what we’re going to need to do. All three of us were born with a mission to accomplish, with me as the leader of the mission. I feel in my bones that it is almost time to go into action. I want you to prepare your souls, because if my feeling is correct, the world is about to shake, and the sky is going to turn a fiery red and...” Ternby suddenly screamed. Bill barked,” What the hell was that for?”
Ternby replied,” Dad, you were about to make fire come out of our ears and ants crawl from the pores of our skin.”
Bill yelled,” Goddamnit, don’t you think I know at what point in my speech fire will come out of your ears and ants will crawl out of your pores. How dare you question my judgement. You’re beginning to act unworthy of being in my presence. If I were to decide to make fire come out of your ears and ants come out of your pores, then you should have submitted to me and accepted you fate with dignity. How do I know if you’re ready for what we’re going to do tomorrow if you question me like this? You should never question me, never, never, never, you understand!”
Ternby nodded. Bill said,” Now, back to my sermon.” He turned back to the elk’s head. “Now, I want ever word that comes out of my mouth to seep into your deepest being. Of all the sermons I have given, this will be the high point of them all, because the time you boys have been waiting for since birth is at hand. And I say unto you,” he threw his right hand up into the air,” I call forth the energetic forms of catastrophe, that breathe the air of damnation, and cut the air with the razor blade edges of justice and power. I summon the ones that will lift the veils from the blind masses, so they will see my aura projecting over the landscape, and will bow before me and become my loyal servants. They will all bow before my greatness out of trembling fear, when my full power is unleashed from within. Their cities will crumble, their water will freeze and they will lose all cognitive capacity, so when I crown myself as their king, they will grovel at my feet and gladly accept the microchips I put into their heads.”
Bill’s speech went on and on, late into the night. Usually, his sermons did not last more than two or three hours, but this time, he preached for well over six hours. He had to stop when his voice started to grow hoarse. He told his boys to stay out on the porch all night and take turns watching the sky. The next day, Bill sat out on the porch all day. Marman and Ternby did all their chores, plus everything Bill normally took care of himself. Each time one of them passed Bill on the porch, Bill said,” Stay ready.”
Bill sat on the porch all day, staring at the sky, but he saw nothing out of the ordinary. He continued sitting, deep into the night, until he started to feel himself nod off. He then told his boys to sit out and watch for him until morning, as they had done the night before. Starting with the morning of the next day, Bill sat out on the porch for a full forty eight hours straight, without eating or sleeping the whole time. At the end of the first twenty four hours, he told his boys to come out and sit with him and to not make a sound. When Ternby started to nod off, Bill jumped up and yelled,” How dare you try to betray me like that!” Ternby snapped awake instantly. Bill shouted,” Once again, you have violated my trust. How do I not know that more violations of my trust are not to follow.”
“I’m sorry, father,” Ternby said, and continued watching the sky.
The three of them continued watching and watching as they sat. As the sun was starting to come up on the second morning, Bill started to tremble. He kept trembling for a full hour, and his boys snuck a few quick glances at him to see what he was doing, but did not dare open their mouths to ask him. When the sun was almost up, a falling star flashed across the part of the sky that was still partially dark. Bill started to tremble even harder. The boys looked at the sky and saw there was nothing unusual going on. However, they saw that their father was beginning to sweat as he chattered his teeth. The boys looked back at the sky, wondering what their father was seeing that they weren’t. Then, they saw a group of meteorites streak across the sky. Bill started tapping his feet on the porch. Then he began to mumble. At first, his mumbling was so faint that they could not understand what he was saying. Then, they heard him say,” And the time clicks to the clock that opens the barrier to the vortex point, were the source of infinite power and the suspension of physical laws can be tapped by the chosen one. With these words, I declare myself as the chosen one.”